of dreams

i dream a lot lately.

i don't usually dream when i sleep, but somehow i dream all kinds of uncanny things these days. at night, at nap. on my bed, on the bus going downtown, during an 8.30 am class.

sometimes they are so bizarre i can't comprehend what they are about. another times they are so vivid i don't know whether they are just dreams or happen for real.

i now and then mix up my memory with my dreams. i tell my friend how the day before went elaborately until i finally realize i have been telling him about my dreams. yes it is creepy.

funerals, beaches, weddings, life in general. moose with sunglasses, two-tyred caravan with a rooftop, museum full of hats and batteries that you can also use as scissors. all sorts of eerie stuff. conversation that uses the phrases "mortgage repayments" and "kindred spirit" in one breathe. notebook that howls after midnight.

scenes that involve yours truly with people of his great importance and the unexpected future.

i won't go into further details. i haven't yet reached my extroversion pinnecal to confide everything that i sense or feel to, technically, the world.

but these dreams are disturbing. the truth blends with my dreams, and my dreams come to reality. the last time i had similar dream-related experience was around six years ago, when i had to juggle with life more than i used to. now, the busiest time of my life, these dreams come in regular basis. as if to remind me about the things i avoid thinking about. again. again. and again. in different forms. different storylines. different periods and length and topics.

i don't want to believe them. yet they lodged in my confused mind. i blame them for my lack of sleep. i also blame them for my baffling thoughts. it's not healthy, i know.

i need more coffee.