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Sunday, July 31, 2005
boing.

having been living in the same place for almost two years, i've grown very fond with the house, more than ever now. even though people have suggested me to move closer either to the campus or downtown since god knows when, i stick with this place for just about every reason that i can think of. right now, for once, scott—my landlord—is out of town for a week, so i'm having the house by myself. also the killer new fridge and stove he bought a couple of weeks ago to replace the old, almost non-functioning ones. and of course, there's the garden frog.

"i bought myself a garden frog."

"you bought a what?"

"a garden frog. look!" he gestured his hand to a frog effigy about thrice the size of a fist, sitting on the dining table. it's dark green with dots all over its plump, fat, round body with a wide smirking mouth and eyes that popped out made of two round crystal marbles. it's hideously cute.

"oh."

"this is such a waste of money," he laughed and picked the frog up to examine it closer. "my boss has given me a hard time lately. you can't please everybody at one time, you know? it's just really annoying..." he trailed his words as if thinking about something before he quickly added, "so today i decided to buy this after work." he laughed again playing with the frog on his hand. "stress would make you do all sort of weird stuff, lemme tell ya," he grinned.

right.

one thing that i now loathe myself for is how i've been doing, thinking, and talking a lot of nonsense lately. it's in the air, the water, basically everywhere, and i would find nonsense. (un)fortunately though, i find peace in nonsense: when i just sit on my patio doing nothing but staring at the backyard, when i lie down on my bamboo mat on top of mount douglas for seven hours gazing at the sky and the sea, when i watch movies back to back the whole night and choose to forego my sleeping time, when i sleep throughout the whole morning and choose to have a backache later on, yada yada yada. i always silently whisper to myself, "life is good." at the same time, i often cross my fingers when i say it, and refuse to think about #11 on my things that i realize more and more every single day list.

on a lighter note, i am now a regular viewer of boingboing, which generously provides us with numerous wondeful things daily. some of the things that i've learned within the past month: what would my site looks like if it got googled, how to kill yourself using only an elevator and a trash can, what would irvine welsh, dave eggers, or chuck palahniuk write for dumbledore's death scene, and what skeletons do during their spare time. hilarious, eh?


# | posted by emil @ 7/31/2005 08:41:00 p.m. |

Tuesday, July 26, 2005
naive

i'm very oblivious a lot of times, don't you think?


# | posted by emil @ 7/26/2005 01:53:00 a.m. |

Friday, July 08, 2005
things that i realize more and more every single day

  1. people are selfish
  2. people are very selfish.
  3. i am very, overly, unduly selfish, that sometimes i'm plain sick of myself for not being able to do much about it.
  4. most of the time, we have to agree to disagree (perhaps the hardest to accept).
  5. it's not the easiest thing in the world to defend your beliefs. i've been having hard times justifying the rationales behind me not eating swine meat to my friends—you can imagine how it's even harder trying to justify the entire concept of a religion, especially when it's been harhly and extensively associated with such negative perceptions.
  6. hell, i don't even know whether i should really believe what i believe. i've spent most of my life in a biased world, afterall.
  7. as much as i hate to acknowledge this, i am nothing but a spoiled brat. spoiled spoiled spoiled. never before have i felt so much shame admitting this fact.
  8. i also don't know if it's still the right thing to be an idealist.
  9. it's difficult to argue over abstract values of life when your knowledge upon them isn't enough to even convince yourself.
  10. even more difficult when you know your own bias.
  11. my future is bleak.
today i'm in grief for no particular reason. forgive me.


# | posted by emil @ 7/08/2005 12:21:00 a.m. |

Thursday, July 07, 2005
london, attacked

sometimes you just can't help but think that "this is too much!" or " when would this end?"

you get sick of the so-called 'terrorist attacks' keep happening as if it's just part of our everyday world.

sad, really. "oh, another bomb blast. too bad." and then life goes on. let's worry about our own personal problems.

this article is a pretty extensive cover of today's london bombings from wikinews.

i have the urge to quote the article on religious leaders' reactions about the bombings. perhaps partly it's a self-defense of my belief:

Pope Benedict XVI has called the attacks "inhuman."

The Australian Muslim Civil Rights Advocacy Network have issued a public statement condemning the attacks, offering their condolences to the British people, and pledging their support in bringing the terrorists to justice.

The Muslim Council of Britain utterly condemns today's indiscriminate acts of terror in London.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has spoken of his horror and grief following the explosions in London this morning.

Leading Lebanese Shi'ite Muslim scholar Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah stated, "These crimes are not accepted by any religion. It is a barbarism wholly rejected by Islam."

The Council on American-Islamic Relations condemned the attacks, stating "We join Americans of all faiths, and all people of conscience worldwide, in condemning these barbaric crimes that can never be justified or excused. American Muslims offer their sincere condolences to the loved ones of those who were killed or injured in today's attacks and call for the swift apprehension and punishment of the perpetrators."

partly it's a reminder for myself. for links of photos you can look at this entry.

my deepest condolences to all the victims of the attacks. as Bertrand Delanoe—mayor of Paris—has said, "today, we're all Londoners."


# | posted by emil @ 7/07/2005 12:55:00 p.m. |

Saturday, July 02, 2005
musical baton

:: this entry is from may 20th (i posted it elsewhere), and a girl named w urged me to post it here too. so here it goes:

since nobody has passed me (and i'm too eager to post one), i might as well start a new musical baton myself.

tagged by:
myself

total volume of music files on my computer:
12.3 GB - 2,293 songs
(and expanding. just wait til i buy that 40GB iPod and fill it in no time)

the last CD I bought was:
Saint-Germain des-Pres Cafe, vol. 3 & vol. 4
(this was around 4 months ago, using the a&b sound gift certificate patty gave me for christmas. thing is, as a starving student i don't have that much disposable allowance from my pocket)

song playing right now:
Sondre Lerche - Modern Nature

five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
The Flaming Lips - One More Robot Sympathy 3000-21
Death Cab for Cutie - Title and Registration
Mirah - Don't Die in Me
The Shins - New Slang
Bjork - Oceania
(i translate this as five songs i listen to a lot lately)

five people to whom I’m passing the baton:
1. wulan
2. affi
3. sindy
4. irene
5. richoz

:: note that as of now the answers would be significantly different


# | posted by emil @ 7/02/2005 01:12:00 p.m. |