Tuesday, October 05, 2004
dim
the weather today was foggy.
the weather has been foggy each morning the past weeks, but today it was all day long.
it was foggy in the morning when i woke up and gaze outside the window. it was foggy still three hours later when i locked the front door close and heading toward the bus stop. in the afternoon i saw everything much clearer because the sunlight staggered in between the mist, but it was foggy nonetheless.
in the evening the dense fog weathered everyone in and overcasted everything.
when i say dense, i mean dense. i was walking home around two hours ago and i couldn't see a thing within 5 meters. i could see shadows not too far, and i could tell what surrounds me, but i wasn't sure. i am familiar with the path i was taking, and if it wasn't because of that, i am probably still wandering on the street, slightly bored and severely confused thinking how on earth am i going to find my way home.
the leaves were covering the ground, too. the pavement that goes beside the road was full of brown leaves i couldn't see it clearly enough. i felt as if i was walking on floating leaves. and there was the fog. i couldn't see nothing but obscure shadows and dim lights from distant. it was almost surreal.
everything was illuminated.
the weather was foggy today, and so was my mind. everything was illuminated, and so was my mind.
and so is my mind.
i become sceptical. i don't feel my feelings. i can't comprehend things clearly. i know what i'm doing and at the same time i don't know. i don't trust my intuition. i do what i do and there's nothing to it.
i need a torch light. not really. i just need a better vision. to look forward, and walk straight ahead. step my feet onto the ground, and not floating on dead leaves. i need heavier shoes.
the weather was foggy, my mind was foggy, and i had to make sure that i chose the right path.
i'm not sure about things. i hate someone who turns out to be genuinely kind to me and later realized that i'm the one who's supposed to be hated. i have many works to do and an exciting schedule waiting but i don't feel overwhelmed nor excited.
when i walked home, a leave fell and i thought it was a flat rock falling in a slow-motion. the fog was so dense that's how my delusion worked at the moment. in real life, a car could crash on the interception near my house and i would pass by it and keep waiting for the bus to come.
when it's foggy outside, i put extra clothes on and walk slowly through the mist. when it's foggy inside, i need help. i don't want to be hazy all the time.
i want my life.
the weather today was foggy.
the weather has been foggy each morning the past weeks, but today it was all day long.
it was foggy in the morning when i woke up and gaze outside the window. it was foggy still three hours later when i locked the front door close and heading toward the bus stop. in the afternoon i saw everything much clearer because the sunlight staggered in between the mist, but it was foggy nonetheless.
in the evening the dense fog weathered everyone in and overcasted everything.
when i say dense, i mean dense. i was walking home around two hours ago and i couldn't see a thing within 5 meters. i could see shadows not too far, and i could tell what surrounds me, but i wasn't sure. i am familiar with the path i was taking, and if it wasn't because of that, i am probably still wandering on the street, slightly bored and severely confused thinking how on earth am i going to find my way home.
the leaves were covering the ground, too. the pavement that goes beside the road was full of brown leaves i couldn't see it clearly enough. i felt as if i was walking on floating leaves. and there was the fog. i couldn't see nothing but obscure shadows and dim lights from distant. it was almost surreal.
everything was illuminated.
the weather was foggy today, and so was my mind. everything was illuminated, and so was my mind.
and so is my mind.
i become sceptical. i don't feel my feelings. i can't comprehend things clearly. i know what i'm doing and at the same time i don't know. i don't trust my intuition. i do what i do and there's nothing to it.
i need a torch light. not really. i just need a better vision. to look forward, and walk straight ahead. step my feet onto the ground, and not floating on dead leaves. i need heavier shoes.
the weather was foggy, my mind was foggy, and i had to make sure that i chose the right path.
i'm not sure about things. i hate someone who turns out to be genuinely kind to me and later realized that i'm the one who's supposed to be hated. i have many works to do and an exciting schedule waiting but i don't feel overwhelmed nor excited.
when i walked home, a leave fell and i thought it was a flat rock falling in a slow-motion. the fog was so dense that's how my delusion worked at the moment. in real life, a car could crash on the interception near my house and i would pass by it and keep waiting for the bus to come.
when it's foggy outside, i put extra clothes on and walk slowly through the mist. when it's foggy inside, i need help. i don't want to be hazy all the time.
i want my life.
