they say, "it's going to be alright"

you know the times when reality bites, and you just can't stand a single or some facts about something, so that you make believe of another thing from your imagination about what the perfect idea would be? you would be drawn into your utopian belief and you want it to happen so much, that eventually you would believe it as a fact. as if that is what actually happens. after a while, you can no longer draw that thin line between what is real and what's on your mind. your world is in your imagination. your mind is your life.

and you start to pretend about what's happening in your mind. facts are irrelevant.

it starts out with simple things. or ridiculous.

you're not photogenic. wrong. you're charming. take more self pictures.

you can't stand cold. wrong again. use short-sleeves when it's 10° outside.

sometimes it helps you a lot with building what you actually lack.

you suck at public speaking. no way jose, you're a natural. join a debate club.

you don't like reading about history. take two history courses.

other times, it would make you wonder what made you do things in the first place.

you hate economics. take that as a major.

you're awful at math. get a Bsc.

the truth is, most of the times, it's self-destructive.

you don't have enough sleep. stay up until 3am.

you're kind of short of money. not so. buy more things. spend more on entertainment.

you have to catch up with your readings. yes. read more novels. go online.

until the initial fact just dissapear by itself.

you have a lot of free times to spare. you can handle all the duties. a little bit of extra work won't do any harm. get involved more. it's okay to spend more and it's going to be worth it. you don't have to regret. enjoy your life. it's okay to treat yourself more often. go downtown. you can get all the A's that you want. stay up late. get up early. drink more coffee. you are not in a denial. inhale all the opportunities in front of you. you are great. you can do this. cook more. buy more. you're all that. people aren't mad at you. be kind to yourself. they understand. do it. do it. you are your mind. you don't regret. you are going to be what you dream to become. put more work. extend your study. there's no such thing as failure. do it. breathe. slack more. you are going to be alright.

and you have to stop for a moment, take a careful look at everything, and inhale. exhale.

take a tylenol. or two.

because you don't want to admit what you have done to yourself. because you still want to believe everything from your mind. because you're afraid if you stop believing all this you're imagination might as well collide. and you might not believe in yourself again. because you really want to blame someone, but you know that blaming yourself is not a smart step.

and not to stop doing this isn't either.

sort things out. put the ashes together. you might not going to have the original shape back, but at least you can make a pyramid out of it. it's not as beautiful as other shapes, but it's still a concrete shape. which is better than scattered dust.