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Monday, January 30, 2006
when everything goes (not) so well

Maladroit just the other day, a friend of mine who just found out about my weekly schedule asked me,

—how do you have time for all that?

the truth is, i don't know. i still have to work on my time management, because even though i'm somewhat more organized than the average joe, when it comes to priorities i prefer to use my gut. it's more of a sporadic thought sorting rather than a condusive decision making. you would think that something bad would come out of it.

that's what i thought, too. and right about this moment, everything goes so well. too well, i would say.

and when nothing has gone wrong, you become nervous. you wonder what might be waiting ahead of you.

i had a three-hour long conversation with a really close friend a couple of nights ago, debating about which path we should take when we don't even know our options. at the very end we reassured each other that if it's beyond our control, then we shouldn't worry about it. i told another friend about our conclusion when she remarked,

—and this comes from you! you should've known better before this, mil.

of course she's right. so i'm guilty as charged, because i have been worrying, while i got what i can control under my control. but it's also my fault that the other parts of my life have been pretty much abandoned. i don't know how to take care of myself anymore.

my hearing problem, for example. my jaw complication. my sleeping habit. my diet. oh, my spare time.

gone are the days when i can take such things for granted.

guess i just have to live with it.


# | posted by emil @ 1/30/2006 11:24:00 p.m. |