berduka



this might be my last post for the year.

tonight i'm heading to vancouver;and calgary follows tomorrow. the vacation i've been waiting since september.

somehow all of this doesn't feel right. here i am, planning my next five days to have fun and kill time before the next semester starts, while half way around the world over 77,000 people from 12 countries have been confirmed dead. more than 45,000 of them are from my own country. it gives me shivers everytime i think of that number and the certainty of its towering within the next days.

2004 has a special meaning for me personally. not the most wonderful, but very memorable nonetheless. so many little things over the year have gradually given impacts to my life, my way of thinking and my ground belief.

now we all end the year with grief. the biggest in recent history. i don't know how i should feel about that.

the distress is even worse after i heard of what had happened to morningdew's family. i then think of those who are now separated or lost their family members. each one of them. how can they handle the reality? what if it happens to me? how would life be after the tragedy? how can they possibly survive?

it gives me headache just to think of it.

since the day after christmas, all i have been doing is going through all news from all kind of resources back and forth (online, broadcasts, newspapers). check and recheck. confirm and reconfirm. maybe i now should catch my daily life back before i get overwhelmed.

i will remember 2004 dearly. i know i won't forget. any single detail of it.

my sympathy and condolences go to the people of south and southeast asia.