Wednesday, December 17, 2003
interpretation of a dream
yesterday was quite a shock to me. for the first time since god-knows-when, i had a dream in my sleep. i hardly dream during my sleeps at night (is that a sign of lack of imagination?), but i have come to realize that everytime i did, it was always distinctive than others, obscure, bizzare and yet-to-be-demystified. and i always (well, almost), remember the vivid details of each of it, probably because i rarely dream and each of them are peculiar. one dream that won't go from my mind until this very moment was the one when i got killed by my own driver, if i'm not mistaken happened 4 years ago, i can blatantly tell you right now all the details of that dream: vibrant, dark and sad.
anyway, if you have read my previous posting, by now you understand that i had a serious trouble of sleeping for more than 2 weeks. and finally, yesterday, after i finished my sociology exam, i had an 11 and a half hour sleep. you know, when you have had a sleeping trouble for a long time, a mad stress and killer exams ruining your life, you would expect to have a long, peaceful kinda sleep as a reward. well, i got the 'long' part, but not quite the'peaceful' part. and yes, you're guessing is right, i was dead again yesterday.
this time, instead of swinged 7 times in the air, flew hard, landed on a full-of-glasses surface, and choked to death by my own driver just like the last time, my death was caused by an even more peculiar incident. there i was, walking with 2 of somewhat-looks-like-my-friend-but-they're-actually-not in a strange-yet-familiar building, until we came into a long, abandoned hall which somehow we knew that we shouldn't walk through it. but we were already inside, so we walked through it and tried to find the elevator that again, somehow, we knew was there. so i pushed the 'down' button, we waited for several seconds and when the elevator was opened, i came in. yes, 'i', not 'we'. why? because i was then realized the 2 of them were gone. instead, i was now escorted with a very repulsive dog, wherever it came from, and the elevator went down. it was cold. i wanted to go to a particular floor (i couldn't remember what number) but the elevator kept going down, down, and down, until it passed the ground floor. i was scared because it kept going down unstoppable, so i pushed the 'up' button hoping that it would going up instead. it did, and it wouldn't stop either. i was so scared (and the dog was still wth me, right now god-knows-how it's in my hand), that i pushed the 'down' button again, and it still didn't stop on the floor that i wanted. horrified, i pushed the up button again and this process of going up and down was repeated for at least 7 times (what is it with number 7??), until i have a thought: if i keep pushing hard the highest floor's button, maybe the elevator would keep going up so it would fall to the ground, and i can go to the particular floor using the stairs. so i pushed the button really hard, prayed and hoping that my life would be safed and i can go out. and it was a success. the elevator didn't stop on the highest floor, it crashed the ceiling and it flew to the air, and fell to the ground after somewhat like forever. it landed perfectly on the ground, just about 100 paces in front of the building (which then i realized was very high). i was so relieved that i could survive, i stepped outside the elevator and ran furiously into the building, naked (yes, i really didn't understand why, and don't ask me what happened with the dog), found the stairs and i went up through the stairs until i reached the floor that had caused me trouble. there were hundreds of people, blank-faced, some of them were mourning, and none seemed like realizing i was there, even though i was right in front of them, standing there naked. eventually i recognized some faces, my family, my friends, and the 2 guys that were with me in the beginning of the dream, all of them were there. i was stunned breathless. and yes, once again you're guessing is right, it was my memorial service. i was dead due to a crushed elevator, and they found my body in pieces. the naked me? well, i guess that would be my soul.
i woke up with a terrible sweat (fyi the temperature was 4 degree outside), and i almost lost my breath, since i was very exhausted. now that, my friend, was terrifying. could it actually mean something? or was it just my brain trying to make sense of all the psychosis that had happened in my real life? i don't usually believe in superstitions, but i also don't think that dreaming of your own death more than once is healthy.
yesterday was quite a shock to me. for the first time since god-knows-when, i had a dream in my sleep. i hardly dream during my sleeps at night (is that a sign of lack of imagination?), but i have come to realize that everytime i did, it was always distinctive than others, obscure, bizzare and yet-to-be-demystified. and i always (well, almost), remember the vivid details of each of it, probably because i rarely dream and each of them are peculiar. one dream that won't go from my mind until this very moment was the one when i got killed by my own driver, if i'm not mistaken happened 4 years ago, i can blatantly tell you right now all the details of that dream: vibrant, dark and sad.
anyway, if you have read my previous posting, by now you understand that i had a serious trouble of sleeping for more than 2 weeks. and finally, yesterday, after i finished my sociology exam, i had an 11 and a half hour sleep. you know, when you have had a sleeping trouble for a long time, a mad stress and killer exams ruining your life, you would expect to have a long, peaceful kinda sleep as a reward. well, i got the 'long' part, but not quite the'peaceful' part. and yes, you're guessing is right, i was dead again yesterday.
this time, instead of swinged 7 times in the air, flew hard, landed on a full-of-glasses surface, and choked to death by my own driver just like the last time, my death was caused by an even more peculiar incident. there i was, walking with 2 of somewhat-looks-like-my-friend-but-they're-actually-not in a strange-yet-familiar building, until we came into a long, abandoned hall which somehow we knew that we shouldn't walk through it. but we were already inside, so we walked through it and tried to find the elevator that again, somehow, we knew was there. so i pushed the 'down' button, we waited for several seconds and when the elevator was opened, i came in. yes, 'i', not 'we'. why? because i was then realized the 2 of them were gone. instead, i was now escorted with a very repulsive dog, wherever it came from, and the elevator went down. it was cold. i wanted to go to a particular floor (i couldn't remember what number) but the elevator kept going down, down, and down, until it passed the ground floor. i was scared because it kept going down unstoppable, so i pushed the 'up' button hoping that it would going up instead. it did, and it wouldn't stop either. i was so scared (and the dog was still wth me, right now god-knows-how it's in my hand), that i pushed the 'down' button again, and it still didn't stop on the floor that i wanted. horrified, i pushed the up button again and this process of going up and down was repeated for at least 7 times (what is it with number 7??), until i have a thought: if i keep pushing hard the highest floor's button, maybe the elevator would keep going up so it would fall to the ground, and i can go to the particular floor using the stairs. so i pushed the button really hard, prayed and hoping that my life would be safed and i can go out. and it was a success. the elevator didn't stop on the highest floor, it crashed the ceiling and it flew to the air, and fell to the ground after somewhat like forever. it landed perfectly on the ground, just about 100 paces in front of the building (which then i realized was very high). i was so relieved that i could survive, i stepped outside the elevator and ran furiously into the building, naked (yes, i really didn't understand why, and don't ask me what happened with the dog), found the stairs and i went up through the stairs until i reached the floor that had caused me trouble. there were hundreds of people, blank-faced, some of them were mourning, and none seemed like realizing i was there, even though i was right in front of them, standing there naked. eventually i recognized some faces, my family, my friends, and the 2 guys that were with me in the beginning of the dream, all of them were there. i was stunned breathless. and yes, once again you're guessing is right, it was my memorial service. i was dead due to a crushed elevator, and they found my body in pieces. the naked me? well, i guess that would be my soul.
i woke up with a terrible sweat (fyi the temperature was 4 degree outside), and i almost lost my breath, since i was very exhausted. now that, my friend, was terrifying. could it actually mean something? or was it just my brain trying to make sense of all the psychosis that had happened in my real life? i don't usually believe in superstitions, but i also don't think that dreaming of your own death more than once is healthy.
