Monday, March 07, 2005
the happy life
i've been thinking a lot lately about what constitutes happiness in life. some people might say happiness means having or getting what matters to them most—to love, to be loved, doing what they feel passionate about, having what they've been dreaming of, constant reminder of people who cares, the list goes on.
but the term happiness itself is as vague as any other terms that involve emotion. you can't really measure it, and you won't know when you would feel happy as opposed to, well, feel sad.
people often complain how their lives don't sustain the happiness they have been yearning for. mine's not an exception (or maybe it's just the fact that i still have a long journey ahead). they would be drawn into the depression cycle, cling back to their pasts, forget the outside world, always in the constant search for the true meaning of their lives. if they lucky, at one point during their pursuit they'd find it. some just simply realize when enough is enough and stop the search altogether. some would never give up, although deep inside they know it's never going to end.
the search, more often than not, involves pain and grief—some things that are opposite of the idea of happiness. before they realize it, the quest has led them far from their initial point, and even farther from what they are looking for. soon they'd forget what was the purpose of the search, and forget what it feels like to be happy.
it's not hard to fake happiness. i do it all the time. have those 100 problems on your back, go outside, meet people and put a smile. act as if you've just won a lottery. people woudn't know the unhappiness you're bearing with. if you fail on your first attempt, and people give you sympathy, acknowledge their 'help.' act as if you feel okay now, then repeat. and the next thing you know you are the happiest person alive, according to them.
but really, it's hard to find happiness when you forget how it feels like. and when you think about it, your surroundings matter the most to your state of happiness: happy, unhappy, numb, indifferent.
a friend of mine asked me once, what my goal is in this life.
"to die happy" was my answer. she then asked again, whether that means no regret when i look back and be able to say, 'i had a good life.'
my answer was simple. yes.
for me, that is ultimate happiness. it might be the hardest thing a man can ever do in his life. i don't deny that, and i'm not saying it's easy. but that is my pursuit. and as long as i have my faith with me, it will always be my pursuit.
i've been thinking a lot lately about what constitutes happiness in life. some people might say happiness means having or getting what matters to them most—to love, to be loved, doing what they feel passionate about, having what they've been dreaming of, constant reminder of people who cares, the list goes on.
but the term happiness itself is as vague as any other terms that involve emotion. you can't really measure it, and you won't know when you would feel happy as opposed to, well, feel sad.
people often complain how their lives don't sustain the happiness they have been yearning for. mine's not an exception (or maybe it's just the fact that i still have a long journey ahead). they would be drawn into the depression cycle, cling back to their pasts, forget the outside world, always in the constant search for the true meaning of their lives. if they lucky, at one point during their pursuit they'd find it. some just simply realize when enough is enough and stop the search altogether. some would never give up, although deep inside they know it's never going to end.
the search, more often than not, involves pain and grief—some things that are opposite of the idea of happiness. before they realize it, the quest has led them far from their initial point, and even farther from what they are looking for. soon they'd forget what was the purpose of the search, and forget what it feels like to be happy.
it's not hard to fake happiness. i do it all the time. have those 100 problems on your back, go outside, meet people and put a smile. act as if you've just won a lottery. people woudn't know the unhappiness you're bearing with. if you fail on your first attempt, and people give you sympathy, acknowledge their 'help.' act as if you feel okay now, then repeat. and the next thing you know you are the happiest person alive, according to them.
but really, it's hard to find happiness when you forget how it feels like. and when you think about it, your surroundings matter the most to your state of happiness: happy, unhappy, numb, indifferent.
a friend of mine asked me once, what my goal is in this life.
"to die happy" was my answer. she then asked again, whether that means no regret when i look back and be able to say, 'i had a good life.'
my answer was simple. yes.
for me, that is ultimate happiness. it might be the hardest thing a man can ever do in his life. i don't deny that, and i'm not saying it's easy. but that is my pursuit. and as long as i have my faith with me, it will always be my pursuit.
